ZERO
8/10/2009
By Joan Farrell
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“0”… that was the number the nice looking boys on the Boardwalk at Mission Beach held up when I rode my bike past them, I was 15 years old, and all too well aware of the “0-10” cards that these boys thought it was fun to hold up as girls rode past. Cruel? You bet! “0”… that number stuck with me through my life. Zero was how I felt for more than 40 years. Obese, trying countless diets, pills, shots, protein drinks, hypnosis and starvation that never helped for long. Sure, lose some weight, never enough and then the cruel trick of gaining it back and more. Seeing the disappointment in my parents eyes when I had “failed” again. Wondering how and why my husband was attracted to me, and actually feeling embarrassed for my kids that I was their Mom. Yep, “0” and over 250 lbs.! That was only one of a number of things I will always remember of being overweight. So many other things- chairs breaking, not being able to get up out of a beach chair on the sand, taking the pictures, so I wasn’t in the pictures, finding out that I was being let go from a job because I didn’t look the part, buying clothes only because they fit, not because they looked good, listening to friends and family and their “helpful” suggestions to lose weight, too many things flood my memories of the pain I felt, and the body I was held prisoner in. After my 40th birthday, the health problems started- the back pain, the leg pain, the high blood pressure, the cracking heels that would not heal and the sleep apnea. I decided in 2008 that I would go ahead and check out the sleep apnea since I was literally falling asleep at peoples houses, stoplights, movies and anywhere that I might sit still for a few minutes. I had a sleep study done and found out that I stopped breathing close to ninety times an hour while sleeping… I was headed for a heart attack or a stroke. My Doctor said it was a direct result from the weight and that he would suggest losing it immediately and that he would back me up on any way to do so. I had never really considered weight loss surgery, it seemed so drastic and I never thought I had “that much” (ha!) to lose, but here I was going to the seminar that Dr. Bhoyrul was putting on. I immediately felt at ease with this man, and listened to the presentation, and was impressed by the Lapband, I liked the accountability of having to visit your Doctor for fills and maintenance, and the fact that the surgery was less invasive than the gastric bypass. I felt like less of a “failure” when I heard the statistics regarding weight loss and the regain of weight when “dieting”. When you hear that “these results are not typical” during a weight loss commercial, they are so right, with a success rate of .02% to keep off weight, they are definitely NOT typical! Weight loss surgeries are a little different, the weight loss is typical! And with the right support system and program, it can be permanent weight loss! After dieting and losing some weight before I went in for my office visit with Dr. Bhoyrul (I didn’t want him to think I was too fat!), I booked my surgery for May 7th, 2008. The surgery was very quick and any pain I felt was gone within 3 weeks time. I started losing weight immediately and within one year I had lost over 90lbs.! Yes, I do eat differently, and a lot less. But as I happily told a woman who was helping me with my size medium dress, when she said “I heard you have to give up a lot!,” I said “yep, I gave up close to 100lbs.!” I exercise daily now, lift weights, take water aerobics and have done things I would have never done overweight. I even swam with Dolphins in public, in a wetsuit! And I even enjoy shopping! It sure is more fun buying size 6 pants instead of size 20! And not to shop in the large size shops is fantastic! So, even though the “Zero” in me fights this at times, the “Ten” in me wants to say that I am so proud of myself and so happy that I wish I could tell anyone who is overweight and considering surgery that this could be you, too! Don’t wait until your health is jeopardized and if you are in trouble with your health now, don’t lose years that you could be healthy! Being overweight beats us all up mentally and emotionally as well, to the point of not feeling that we deserve to be that healthy person, but we all deserve it! In the end, all I can say is that I finally stopped trying to lose weight and I actually lost it, period. And I want to thank Dr. Bhoyrul and his staff and my support group, because I really feel that you saved my life! …And to all those nice young men at the Mission Beach Boardwalk who are now undoubtedly balding and fat, where are your “number cards” now?